I sit here in a condo in Mammoth. Alone with friends. Thinking, where could I be if I made a few different choices? Is this the best life I could have led? I’m at a crossroads. I am literally a blank canvas. I have no job, no girlfriend, no close friends, and no direction. The future is frighteningly mysterious.

It seems I’m a lone traveler. If you asked me 15 years ago where I would be today, it would not be here. It would be someplace else. Someplace where I wore a smile more often, with someone who brings it to my face.

There comes a time in one’s life where perspectives change. Where we have lived enough, experienced enough to look back and reflect — constructing an accurate portrait of what we’ve become and perhaps who we will always be.

There are so many things I did not write about this last year, my self-imposed moratorium on drinking, my lost job, and of course, Wendy.

We live. We die. And happiness, contentedness is the only thing that matters. The problems only arise when you desire more than what the world offers and that which you are not willing to fight for.