unbeknownst

Unbeknownst to most at the time, there is always a singularity of moment, of change that alters one’s life so completely that a chapter ends and gives rise to another. A lot has changed in the last few years for me. Therefore, many chapters have begun and ended. The theme has mostly been me combating this growing up and maturing into an adult phase. I despise it so much sometimes. Then when I think I have a firm grip on what my future might hold, life tosses me sweaty palms. Consequently, I slip and fall landing in a new paragraph in a desperate search for a fresh topic sentence. Only recently I fear I’ve fallen completely off the page and am on an arduous journey back to my scripture in search of a title for a new chapter. Yes, sometimes my metaphors tire even me.

I’m always wary how much I share here for who knows what creatures are peeking in, gathering notes, only to one day surprise me with a book of how I am perceived by others that ultimately devours my ego, sends me spiraling into oblivion, and leaving the viewer ingrained with a terrible fallacious representation of my self. Don’t dwell on words typed in a single moment of pain, joy, or spite. These are just thoughts, and if you know me at all, you’ll know my thoughts are like the wind: sometimes strong and forceful, sometimes calm and gentle, but always fleeting.

Since beginning this entry I’ve changed my mind on its path numerous times. That’s the beauty of art. It’s an undiscovered country. I typed “Unbeknownst” and started on a path that ultimately led to this. Art is not anything, good or bad, until it’s shared. I just want to thank three people who make me want to write publicly and make me defend the sanctity that is myspace. Sonja, Wendy, and Rene. My sincerest thanks. 🙂

Current mood: indescribable
Currently listening: It’s Time by Michael Bublé