I had a thought about how special it is to be a conscious creature — to be so aware that I’m aware of being aware and how much I’m aware of that.

Because…death is right around the corner. As I watch my parents become elderly and sick, their bodies and mind failing them, I see my future. And something beyond understanding, a grokking, that there is a limited time to experience it all. I want the next half of my life to be better than the first. This first part was me taking the long way round to understanding and acceptance of who I am. I also feel I’ve reached a point where I’m not growing enough on my own, I need others as catalysts. Like last year’s painting with Jenny — she’s inspiring, challenging, fun, helpful, passionate, synergistic, she thinks differently, but not antagonistically — it was with her by my side that I painted that entire rhino painting in one day, just a few hours. It’s because of her I began painting again at all. It was an eye-opener. I need more Jennys in all parts of my life.