May 1: Messy or neat?

Neat. Organized. Everything in its place.


May 8: Who do you think is cute?

Dot. Dot is cute. And she knows it.


May 10: How did you start your day?

I woke right before 8am and took a shower. I dressed nicely as I was to have a first date directly after work. I ate oatmeal with raisins. At about a quarter to nine, I hopped in my Civic and drove the 21 minutes to work at PacSun.


May 11: How do you want to be remembered?

Ultimately, we all will be forgotten. Maybe not certain film stars, but even then, they will only really be understood through their characters. Is that really being remembered? We are so young as a species, so it’ll be interesting to see how certain historical figures survive, but even then, how much is truth, how much is lore? What will people 100 years from now understand about the decades I was alive? Today has a slightly better chance of being understood because of this digital age where we can capture and save so much. But the real question is: Who will want to remember me? Or would I want to remember me?

This really changes the focus to what I want to create and who I care about experiencing it. So, as many are, I am curious about my genealogy. Thus, I think about my progeny, the future generations. It is one reason I create, why I write, to give some future person who might be interested in me a little glimpse of who I am and what made me tick. So, how do I want to be remembered? I could say, I hope as a good-natured, kind, and giving person, but really, I want all my words, my art, these yearly projects, to speak for themselves.


May 12: What are you exploring?



May 14: What makes a good enemy?

It’s Mother’s Day for crying-out-loud! Well, I don’t really subscribe to enemies in my real life, so I don’t have an answer there. But in fiction? Hummm, a good enemy is someone who is your equal, who believes in their cause just as much or even more than you do. You see them as justified, just skewed, blinded to some truth that has enlightened you. You see them as redeemable, but fighting for everything you are against. A good enemy is someone we can relate to, even be sympathetic towards. But goes too far, for whom the ends justify a sacrifice of morals.


May 15: What do you consider your biggest achievement?

Myself. Becoming someone I love and respect. And never stopping the growth, seeking it with eyes wide open. Becoming someone I think others can look to for an example of what it means to be a good person. To be a great friend, to share everything I have with others. To be there when they need me. Recognizing and implementing the balance of forgiveness and self-preservation. Setting myself up to become the best partner I possibly can be.


May 16: What was your favorite day this week?

I had my Art Day At Dean’s this past Sunday, and while Parvin didn’t show up, Charlie came with June and Red. And Stephanie came with Luna. I didn’t really create anything this time, although I did paint our little mascot figure some more.


May 20: What’s the craziest thing you’ve done for love?

From someone I love and once loved:

“It kind of seems that the craziest thing anyone could ever do for love is just accepting love in the first place. By doing so, you’re essentially placing your heart and soul in someone else’s control.

And you’re not truly “in love” I suppose unless it feels that you have lost all control over it. In a position that is impossible to fight. In a state of vulnerability that just changes you.

Equally, losing a love feels like losing a part of yourself. People tend to demonize their former lovers as a coping mechanism. So silly. I think when two people get to that point, in love, they have a shared vision of everything. And when it’s gone, so is half your sight. Perspective skews if you allow it.”



May 25: If you could travel anywhere tomorrow, where would you go?

Love to go finally meet Ian in Maui. I was also supposed to be traveling on my epic road trip right around this time. Up the west coast and beyond, but my money was getting short and a job that landed in my lap at both the perfect and most inopportune time.


May 26: List things that nagged you today.

If anything it’s this idea of not being understood. The fear that I’ll die and never be known. Never share myself fully. This fear that no one cares to actually know me, like really, really KNOW me. And that I make it difficult to be known.